RH Choir is such a darling

I am beginning to believe that the best time for me to pour out my thoughts is the wee hours, when everyone else is asleep, leaving me in a world of my own to indulge in the mind of my mind.

It was less than a year ago when I went for the NUS Choir audition. Back then, I was full of enthusiasm, felicity and eagerness to learn. Now, all the passion in the world could refill that jar of joy and goodness. What is left is an empty figurative husk. Everyday, I am less inclined to be on time for NUS Choir practice.

I thought I could make long lasting friends in NUS Choir. I thought it was a conducive place for me to learn to sing. I thought I would be one of those proud choristers standing in the Esplanade to contribute my voice to the melody and harmony of our songs.

Well, I guess those are just assumptions which I make up in my all-too-ideal mind. I think I am gonna quit NUS Choir. There is no raison detre for me to be there. One less soprano would not make a difference to them as much as it would to me. To me, I would freer to indulge in my spare time, which have been used up for that one CCA, which I do not particularly enjoy as compared to others. I would not need to come back from the NUS Choir practice, feeling like nothing is accomplished for the day since the songs were sung with so much technicality yet so little emotion.

Digressing from that, I sometimes marvel at how Raffles Hall choir managed to survive the catastrophe of this academic year. Compared to NUS Choir, we lack people and skills. Moreover, there is no one who could teach effectively on the right techniques for singing. All that could be shared with the choristers are experiences from practicing in other choirs. Shu Ying was already cracking her head worrying about whether RH Choir would just die out.

Nonetheless, we manage to pull through. Although caroling was not exactly perfect, it promised a great deal of fun in the form of mistakes we did and the laughs we had in response to that. I dare say that it has made us closer as a choir as much as it had set me apart from NUS Choir. I feel more at home in RH Choir than in NUS Choir.

Recently, I performed for both choirs in Amplitude. The difference in both choirs were remarkable. In NUS Choir, the songs were well sung yet so emotionless. One friend said that I looked like a snob, with only my mouth moving and my face entirely expressionless. On the hand, the singing experience in RH Choir was fun, fun and fun. I really thought we screwed up on May It Be but it turned out to be okay. I enjoyed myself thoroughly swaying along with the songs. In fact, we did way better than most hall choirs which had more people than we had.

To say RH Choir is as good as NUS Choir would be outright foolish. However, singing for RH Choir involves much more conviction and feeling for the songs compared to NUS Choir. What is a song without emotion, even so much technical perfection? The crowd is obviously more wowed at NUS Choir's performance than at RH Choir. But I am definitely not the one in the crowd.

2009/2010 Semester 1 Review

Blogging in the middle of the night, at 2.00am to be exact, is not exactly an orthodox thing to do but i guess tonight is yet another turning point in my university year. I can now leave academic matters of Year 2 Sem 1 behind me and set my thoughts to the forthcoming semester. I have just completed my last caroling session for the year a few hours back. I am also set to go back home after 6 months in Singapore. Back home, I would have the chance to re-established the long estranged ties with the place where I am born and raised.

It is hard to believe how the feeling of anxiety and apprehension would quickly turn into that of calm and tranquility in a matter of seconds. Nonetheless, this is the case when it comes to checking the exam result online. I must say I have done pretty well for the this semester befitting the amount of work I have put in trying to understand, memorise and apply the obscure knowledge of the higher academia. There are more A+s than ever to carve a smile on my face and the only "flaw" is an A-, which I don't really give a damn. It is so weird to be so fascinated with chemistry and do worst for it as compared to other subjects. Even so, what is the CAP but a few digits that would matter less and less over the years as compared to the memories of friends and knowledge you gain in university?

As a post-exam exercise, I find it rather important to review the modules I have taken for far.

CN2121

A wonderful module to take since I learn a lot about thermodynamics in a practical sense. Who would know that the amount of heat liberated when sulphuric acid is added to water follows a parabolic curve? Do you know that the engine and the heat pump are identical except that the the reverse direction is followed by the working fluid in the thermodynamic diagram? On a different note, I thought I screwed up in the final paper for not attempting some of the questions correctly. Then Esha told me that it doesn't matter what grade I get in the end, rather it is the intellectual fulfillment attained upon completion of the module. Both lecturers (Dr Jiang Jia Wen and Dr Lanry Yung) are dedicated teachers, a rare gem in the academic environment of NUS.

CN2122

Many consider this a bane but I can't understand why people cannot view the beauty of Fluid Mechanics. Lets face it: we deal with fluid all the time. Ranging from rain collecting and draining through the gutter to tap water pumped to our house as a modern convenience to the drag you feel when swimming in the pool, fluid mechanics is practically everywhere!!! At first, I could only swallow senselessly the content taught but over time, I have begun to savour the different "flavours" intrinsic in the subject. I now know that fluid friction in a pipe can be modeled and calculated with ease by the human brain (with the help of a calculator of course!!) I also appreciate the significance of the different flows of fluid under different velocity, pipe roughness etc since these determines how much energy should be put in to pump the water. Exam paper is quite tricky but when deconstructed with the appropriate knowledge tool, it is pretty straighforward.

XD3103

This is another fun module to take. Admittedly, the content covered is enormous as one has speed through the Physical, Chemical and Geological aspects of the Planet Earth. In my opinion, Dr Grahame J.H. Oliver is very knowledgeable and experienced in the field of geology. I can almost imagine him doing hands-on work on the minerals, rocks and minerals as he lectures on these topics. Although he seems outwardly unapproachable, i think he is a nice person to talk to (professionally of course). As for the final exam, it is certainly more difficult than last year. Honestly, I was surprised at my results especially when I thought I wrote two short and scanty essays in 30 minutes.

GE2229

Ah, Water and the Environment... the mention of such fluid element evokes a sense of peace and tranquility reminiscent of a silent flowing stream in an ancient forest. Think again. Although the content is comparatively little, the questions set are terrifically tricky and would squeeze every drop of your brain juice out. Nonetheless, the practicals are very enjoyable especially the one on water quality. Apparently, one group did a study on toilet flushing water and found it comparable to the quality of NEWater. Interesting...

CM1501

Chemistry is supposed to be my forte but I have done worst in it. Anyway, as previously mentioned, I don't give a shit even if I don't get an A+ as I have gotten for other modules this sem. I work hard. I get what I deserve. How self consoling... Anyway, organic chemistry is certainly more interesting than physical chemistry. I like to learn learn how one organic compounds can be transformed into another with the mere addition of a reagent or a tweaking change in the system conditions. Then, there is so much fun in linking many compounds together in an intricate web of reactions. It may sound a mouthful but that is the way chemistry should be appreciated - a modern alchemy of matter transformation.

Bleh... it is three already. I needa wake up early later at 7, have breakfast and leave NUS at 8. Thank you RH Choir and NUS Choir for making my holiday a wonderful experience!!!

(Some) Bloggers These Days

I was reading through a few blogs when i stumbled upon two threads which link all the authors of the blogs:-

a) They are self-centred

b) They are hopelessly prone to self-justification.

The first thread is perhaps what makes these blogs interesting. Blogs are these amazing conduit through which the thought and behaviour of the bloggers can be deciphered. Most can't stop complaining about their "dreadful" lives when there are more unfortunate people who lack nutrition or education or freedom.

I am not sure whether it is right to say that the urban society is inherently insular. Nonetheless, John told me that the urban individual is less likely to be aware of and help other people compared to rural individual because there are simply too many "distractions" in the fast-paced city life. I can't help but hypothesize that one of these distractions may include being distracted with the self. High expectation, stiff competition and the thin margin between failure and success are responsible for the high stress level but could this be extended to explain self-centredness?

The second thread is somehow more subtle. When we were much youngers, mistakes were part and parcel of childhood. We have done something wrong and therefore receive retribution. With age comes egoism and the belief (whether justified or not) that we are sufficiently enlightened to argue against the perceived "wrong". When things don't go our way, most of us complain thinking that by doing so, we would feel better after such self-justification.

Strangely, it is not difficult to spot that people often complain about the same thing over and over again. Is it because they have not found the solution to the problem? Or are they just wallowing in their muddy pool of pain, hoping for the rain of sympathy to wash all the sludge away?

I strongly believe in blog as a personal space where one can write down outrageously creative ideas that just pop up in the head. I believe that it is an avenue for self reflection i.e. to review what has been done so far and what more could be done. Certainly, the role of a blog extends beyond complaining.

Before I go further, I should probably slap myself twice. Who am I to stop people from exercising their freedom of speech? Am I supposed to justify myself here and now? Probably not....

The Voice: Part 2

I know I should be feverishly rushing my studies in preparation for the mid-terms but I really want to revisit the topic regarding my voice.

I guess it has been a full one year since the revelation that I am a countertenor. Armed with an unusually strong falsetto, which requires little exertion to execute, I am able to reach notes far beyond the reach of most mature men. Nonetheless, I am still new to this mode of singing and there are much more knowledge and experience to be garnered in my training.

Since then, I have been trying to sing different songs catered to women and boy sopranos, and have discovered a great deal of weaknesses and deficiencies which I hope to surpass one day. As mentioned earlier, there is still much to learn and improve on when it comes to my "other" voice.

The chorale experiences in both RH and NUS Choirs have been enriching. I have learnt a great deal and met some people of my kind, who are evidently more skilled and beautiful in their singing.

I have read somewhere that being a countertenor is conscious choice. I can choose between singing in my baritone to low tenor modal voice or in my soprano upper range. I do admit that it is more comfortable to sing in the latter than the former since I somehow do not strain my throat so much. This really sounds almost contradictory because the opposite case is true for most guys.

If some of you have not known, the countertenor voices are very diverse. Some sound like men, while other can imitate a woman's voice so flawlessly, in which case, I would gladly refer to the Youtube star, Nick Pitera. I recall my NUS Choir senior telling me that I sound like an immature boy. I am not sure whether this is a good or not but well, I will accept God's gift with an open, loving heart.

I also recall that there is a social stigma against countertenors, who are perceived as social oddities, to the extent of being labelled as gays and transsexuals. I have been labelled a homosexual simply because I have belted out a screeching, high note in the presence of a few ignorant individuals. Partly, they ought not to be blamed as their perception may be conditioned by the social disapproval of countertenors. Such stigma is less pronounced in Europe, where the countertenor tradition is better established. In Asia however, we are in danger of taunts and ridicule.

What is it, really, about our high voices which sparks revulsion in some hearts? We are very much like any men, complete with the necessary sexual characteristic which defines our sex. In no way are we rendered impotent, either by nature or by the act of castrations. We are not castratos of the bygone era, who have given up their manhood to sing like angels. Admittedly, we do not equal them in breath power but we do seek to revive some of their songs in honour of their unique vocal identity. Additionally, there is a diversity of voices among countertenors as previously mentioned. If the high voice itself is a satisfactory reason to engender ridicule for our kind, I feel that the society is indeed in a sorry state.

I am still an amateur in the singing art of countertenor. Nonetheless, I do look forward to do better and play a part in perpetuating this singing tradition.

Semester 1 Interim Review

When I was young, I used to wish everyday that I would grow up quickly so that I could do things that Mum forbade me from doing as a child. Harking back to the past, I now realise how wonderful childhood has been to me. The innocence, naivety and and stubborn resolve, the last of which still lingers on, have been truly beautiful. Sigh, time has indeed sprinted so fast ahead I cannot imagine I am gonna turn twenty-one soon.

Since looking back to childhood would result in a 500 page long blog, I would settle with a glimpse into the last six weeks (or seven, for those Orientation addict) marking the first half of Semester 1. The Recess Week, which is ongoing now, has afford me the time and tranquility to review the opportunities, obstacles and actions that have gone by, to evaluate the things I have succeeded in doing and those which I failed, and to sum up my ever changing feelings about life here.

First up is the ever persistent cough that has been tormenting me for three weeks straight. It started with an innocent attempt to put a slice of piping hot stingray into my mouth. Not more than three days after that, worrying signs began to show. The shallow cough whenever I run out of water to drink, the tingling sensation of the throat whenever I walk into the air-conditioned room and the inability to mouth out more than ten words before my throat starts hacking madly at me. I have taken antibiotics, lozenges, anti-inflammatory drugs and cough mixture but they did little to avail me of such physical agony. For now, I try to limit myself from talking and singing apart from taking care of my diet to avoid spicy, oily and cold food. In Singapore, this means soup noodle or congee every lunch. Mum told me to rinse my throat at least twice a day and to consume honey, which I did try to follow obediently. I feel better now than the worst of times in the past three weeks but I do hope to get better.

Secondly, I would like admit that the NUS Choir session is rather taxing both to the time and to the voice. At least eight hours a week has to be put aside for the formal practice sessions and this blatantly excludes self practice to execute florid passages which demands not only the right pitch, but also the right color, tone and timbre. Nonetheless, I am still happy being in there since I have gained a great deal of knowledge despite the inability of my skill to grow in pace with the increasing difficulties of our upcoming musical pieces.

With regards to academics, there is the list of modules, in descending order of favourable opinion towards the modules:

1. GE2229 (Water and The Environment) - Have I told anyone Dr Lim Han She, our dear beloved lecturer, is a passionate, funny and supportive lecturer? She would share with us not only theoretical knowledge but also those garnered out in the field. For instance, one of the practical assignments was based on a field-work research she conducted in Thailand to help us realise that geography is not a academic backwater but an active, burgeoning area of study which is deeply entangled with our environment and daily lives. Apart from that, I find her a very nice person who would not let her PhD set a cloud arrogance around her. When you need her help, she would deliver it quickly and earnestly. Having learnt a bit about Hydrology back in JC, the content of the module is pretty much a built-up on previous knowledge with more depth and slightly more breadth. This doesn't mean that i doze off in lecture because Dr Han keeps surprising us with thought provoking questions printed on the lecture assignment sheet to be printed out for every lecture. The questions are designed to encourage us to apply what we learn, to frame our answers in a systematic, thoughtful manner, and to use creativity or common sense as and when needed. Oh ya, talking so much about GE2229 has somehow reminded me that I have not collected the marked Practical 1. I do hope that the marks would not cause so much emotional casualty in me.
2. CN2121 (Chemical Engineering Thermodynamics) - Admittedly, this is no easy module but that does not stop me from investing my passion in it. I guess this is because the lecturer, Dr Jiang Jianwen has been very nice and understanding when teaching the module. His lecture notes are concise yet filled with various examples so that we are better trained at applying the concepts he has taught us. After all, Engineering is about applying equations and theories. He explains complex equations in simple terms, avoiding jargons so typical of the high academia, so that we can understand, not just memorise the main ideas of thermodynamics. Moreover, he is keen to provoke our mind with difficult questions to get us thinking hard about the assumptions underlying thermodynamics (I somehow like thought-provoking lecturer, don't I?). Lastly, he is very approachable and would entertain whatever weird question I bring forth to him.
3. XD3103 (Planet Earth) - This is a module not so well known among the undergraduates primarily because it is a recent addition to the geography course to emphasise more on geology. It is divided unequal into the physics (25%), chemistry (25%) and geography (50%) portions and each is taught by different lecturers. The physics lecturer is rather enthusiastic but I can't stop myself from dozing off when he starts talking. There are both old (Newtonian physics) and new things (Birth of Solar System, Planetary geology and atmospheric environment) that I see in his lecture. As for the chemistry portion, there is a mix-up in the NUS timetable system such that the Geography lecturer has to cover two out of three lectures which ought to be taught by the Chemistry lecturer. The concepts such as atoms, elements and bondings are rather "elementary", crystal systems a little more intermediate and the different classes of silicate and non-silicate minerals rather new to me. The geography part of the module will only commence after recess week.
4. CM1501 (Organic Chemistry for Engineers) - If you think it is a recap of JC Chemistry, think again. A whole new array of jargons such as Sn1 and Sn 2 mechanism, anti-periplanar, hyperconjugation and 1,3-diaxial interactions are out there to surprise you. However, the module provides explanations on the chemical reactions we often take for granted back in JC so pure memorising work, which I hate so deeply, is less.
5. CN2122 (Fluid Mechanics) - I don't really have much affinity to this module. The lecture notes are more like exam cheat sheets than an illustration to better comprehend what is going about. It is so succinct that if you miss a lecture, you will be looking helplessly at all the Greek symbols not knowing that they imply. Attempts to clarify things with the lecture are often unpleasant and may lead to further dangling up of the neuron dendrites.

Phew, I am little tired too write anymore so can we save it for next time?

Of Activities and Anticipation

A bare two weeks into the first semester have seen a flurry of activities. From Malaysian night planning (which has yet been finalised) to the Hall AGM to the repeated frustration of not being able to purchase my Geography textbook as well as the Chemistry solution manual, I have yet been able to convince myself that I am prepared for the new semester.

Anyway, I went for the NUS Choir audition, for which I thought I did badly. It was divided into two parts, the vocal audition followed by the interview with the President and Vice-President of the society. For that night alone (of the three nights of audition), about 42 people turned up resulting in an hour wait for the audition. I guessed that paid off quite well since I got into Soprano 2, the role for which I hope to do well given the thin-ness of my voice.

In addition to that, there is this headache about the Hall activities selection, about which I have yet given a serious thought. With MMs, whom I know as casual friends, persuading me to join their activities, I cannnot help but be guilt-ridden for not answering their pleas. Problem is, I am afraid that the time constraints would only allow me to join 2 (or 3, with cut-throat strict scheduling) activities in Hall. Xian Ling said that there are insufficient sopranos in Raffles Choir (I really miss Yi Hui and her loud voice for that) and John, my dear neighbour, is tugging me to get in RH Editorial. This is not to mention that Jerome has put down my name as a member of Pheonix (for which I must say I consented quite some time ago) and that NUS Choir is practicing twice a week!

Nonetheless, my wait for Mum to come to Singapore had finally been rewarded when I saw her two days before, with her signature smile, and her almost reflexive comment about my hair (thank god she said it looked neat!). Anyway, she will be going back this evening and it will only be until after Christmas when I could finally see her again. Sigh...

General Biology

Just got my LSM1301 General Biology results on the 13th of this month. The result was supposed to be out at 3pm and there I was staring point blank at the computer at 2.58pm. Not that I was very kiasu but the anxiety was so great that I could not have a proper sleep the night before. The reason was this: I did not do so well for my practical assignments, having scored below average for 2 of the 7 assignments. It was a dreadful feeling especially when one reads the review about the module and observes the fundamentally the same comments over and over again, which is best summarised in the following quote:

Most people get full marks or close to full marks for lab assignments, so doublecheck your work to ensure that you did not make any careless mistakes (due to bell curve, even half a mark can make a fair bit of difference).

When the clock striked three, I punched in my username and password, logged into the online result portal, only to be surprised by an "A+" printed neatly to the right of the module name. Frankly speaking, I couldn't help but be animated significantly by such revelation. It took me a bare fifteen minutes to succumb to the urge of calling mum and telling her my result (since it is one module). It did not do much to lift my CAP by a triffle but I am happy that at least the $954 dollars did not go into waste.

Enough with all the joy and back to a down-to-earth reflection on taking a module during a special semester. Undeniably, it is a six-week sprint from going to the first lecture to sitting in the examination hall so much so that the I had to increase my learning pace by a significant factor. The classroom size, at about 50, is small, which perhaps explains the more interactive teaching-learning experience. The lecturers are certainly more engaging than any whom I have had in the last two semesters. The labs are also very interesting since I have the opportunity of examining mutant flies, staring at my own cheek cells, extracting and keeping my DNA, engaging in a dispassionate activity of exploding plant cells and bringing back a beer bottle (which I have not sipped).

At the same time, I had float stuffs for which I must be grateful to Jasvind for allowing me to juggle between the two activities. I do learn a lot from float, make invaluable friends, but I should not deceive myself into saying that I love float a lot. I guess different people have different affinities to things.

Anyway, today marks the end of the first week of school. I have several things in my head that, I hope, would work out through the course of this semester. Then again, nothing is certain so I should not put my hopes too high. I have a feeling that the last year has seen slacking a bit so this year should be a time I rev up my engine and concentrate on doing what I have decided to do, whether I like it (Geoscience minor!!!!) or not (Chem Eng....).