The Extraordinary Tale of Eight Teens and the Mad Lady

Heeding the special request (or demand, as she puts it)by a friend(Pui Kheun) and the express recommendation of another (Christopher), I would like to recount the extraordinary tale of our encounter with a mentally unsound lady and the comical consequences that follow.

It all began on a cool Tuesday morning, at about 5.45 am, in the old town section of Kuala Terengganu. As the hour was too early for any productive activity to be carried out (except pacing up and down the road if you fancy that), we decided to settle ourselves in a rather run-down bus stop while waiting for the jetty gate to open. Being an individual (more like a monkey) of inquisitive nature, I decided to approach the jetty gate to see whether the jetty guard would allow us in earlier. Instead, I stumbled upon a haggard-looking woman with an extraordinarily large stomach who was avidly "searching" for some "treasure" in a nearby dustbin.

Trusting my instinct that the person may not have a sane mind, I gave a thought about turning back. Just as I was about to do so, the lady turned around, waddled towards me and raised one of her hands in my direction. In the hand was a crumpled up plastic with presumably some mouldy substance, the details of which I could not perceive further given the dim light of the surrounding area. With a booming but clear voice, she said,"Take this! Ambil ini!" I bolted off to the bus stop where the bulk of us were waiting.

Having elaborated on the account of my encounter to the rest of us, I realised that all along, she was following me. At first, we saw a small figure but as time went by, it became bigger and clearer to form the physique of the same mad lady. She was ten metres away, then eight, six , four, two, and finally, ground zero. Somehow, as though some primordial instinct had taken over us, we froze like statues as she approached us. She went around us and through the gaps between us. She looked at our face and bent down to "scold" a cat which had coincidentally sleeping near us. At times, she would walk away but like a spring attached to a hinge, she would faithfully (faithfully i tell you!) come back. She opened her mouth and declared (with some beeping music as a pretext): Ding, Ding Deng Dong, sekarang sudah pukul sembilan. It is now nine o'clock. The intonation was so unaccented compared to that of a typical Malay that I swear she'd be a telecast reporter if she hasn't gone haywire in the inside!

Biding our time and waiting for her to get far enough from us, we made our escape. Clutching our bags and heaving heavily, we ran away from her as a prisoner would from Azkaban. We stopped in front of the jetty gate, screaming, yelling and begging for the gate to open but we were not answered. To our back, the "faithful" lady was in hot pursuit of us. Already buckling under the heavy luggage in our hands (poor Lizzie with his big suitcase bag), we paced away quickly to the direction of a row of shophouses ahead of us. There was a bend in the road and we turned in, hoping to evade the lady. I remembered that both Shean and Sam were so freaked out that they would scream if the lady were to put her hands on them.

It happened that a small food stall was conveniently located near the bend. Time for breakfast (and the "faithful" lady was not invited), we desperately agreed. Having settled at one long table, we realised that there was still one vacant chair so we took it away so that the "faithful" lady would not take her seat among us to "grace" our breakfast. I must say that that lady was one hell of a stubborn hound for she somehow sniffed our scent and make her way to the stall, only to sit one table away.

Breakfast was a terrible ordeal, I tell you. Every scoop of nasi lemak tasted bland, as though the rice beads themselves were making ridicule of my frightened state. The lady ordered nasi lemak and what was allegedly known to her as "kopi super power zam zam a la ka zam". After she finished whatever morsel was on her plate, she tooked out twenty dollars and boomed,"Ambil wang ini! Saya belanja semua!"Billy turned around in surprise but the shop lady shooked her head in disapproval. Thereafter, the "faithful" lady was gone like the aether wind of autumn.

Making over way back to the jetty gate, we finally understood why it was closed initially. They wanted to keep the lady out of the jetty. If she were to get herself onto Redang, that's gonna be a "bye-bye" to the tourism industry that has been cashing in money to the local population. Too bad she'll never get to see Redang. Zachary, there is one other thing in map that isn't told: mad wandering people (Maybe you should invent a technology to pinpoint these people on Google Earth. It'll be a hell of a profit to make).

Anyway, my account ends here. Two lessons are to be garnered. Firstly, a journey is always packed with surprises. Secondly, mad lady can prompt you to have breakfast. The end.